The Fabulous Review

The Fabulous Bender Boys a Good Bet on the Island. – Friday March 31 2006

As of late, there's been a lot of buzz in the valley regarding the Fabulous Bender
Boys, a four piece C&W crew whose members brought about 217 years of musical experience to the all-you-can-eat buffet table at the Wheeling Island
Gaming Resort last Friday night.

The room in which the Boys were performing was terribly optimistic, potentially
seating at least 5 or 6 hundred gamblers-on-respite (including motorized
wheelchairs and oxygen tanks). Actual rotating attendance was limited to a few
dozen at a time possibly due to the absence of a bar within the venue and the
sluggish service received after elbowing one's way to the nearest liquor
distribution point on the gaming floor a hundred yards away. By the time I'd
returned to my seat, two thirds of my $3.25 Budweiser was well on its way to
being converted to urine. Next round I bought myself a beer and a back for the
sake of efficiency.

The Fabulous Bender Boys represent a great deal of heritage in the local music
scene.  I daresay that every Valley resident over thirty has, at least once, seen a
Bender Boy playing in one of his past bands at a steak fry, fireman's festival,
prom or beer joint near you. Remember Sweet Harmony, Nicky O'Grady,
Crystal Ball, or the Downtowners? If I was more hip, I could rattle off another
half dozen bands of which the Boys are alumni. I’m not, so I won’t (can’t).

The Benders' set was partially the kind of radio-country crap that I hate only if I
recognize it. See, I'm a hater. Forgive me for it. I think that popular country
music today is as vacuous, as trite and as formulaic as in the dark age of popular
music, the mid 1980s. But chicks then seemed to dig it and the chicks (“Bender
Babes” as it was pointed out during the show) on the Island that night were
digging it. The Boys serve up perfect renditions to please even the choosiest
permed, peroxide milf in a halter top binge-drinking Grey Goose and Red Bull.

In their defense, the Benders also showed us lovely re-tooling of songs that
display starkly and beautifully what these guys can do with any piece of music.
There were a couple I didn’t recognize for an embarrassingly long time. “What
is this? I know that song….” I didn’t get it until the chorus. They did do some
very cool covers.  Like Talking Heads and AC/DC. You’re not expecting that
after some drippy ballad by Rascal Pickins or whoever that crappy band is.

Regardless, the vast majority were songs that I didn't recognize and could have
been originals for all I know. I did like them. The vocals are spot on and are
generously doused in 3 part harmonies everywhere you could fit them in. There
wasn't one Bender who stuck out as the alpha singer as they all were very good
when singing lead. If they were singing with their hands in their pockets, they
would have been impressive enough.

Instrumentally, the Bender Boys did indeed kill. I see now this is where they
earn the "Fabulous" title. Mike Mazure and Chad Smith’s cinderblock-solid
rhythm created a sturdy platform for the encyclopedic palate of tones issued by
the band’s string section, Roger Hoard and Jim Miller. Frantically changing
instruments between every song allowed them to invoke mandolin, banjo, slide,
warbling fizzy strats, and baritone tele twang at will. Collaterally, they provided
the guitar geeks in the audience (guilty) a collection of instruments to drool over.
I was surprised on a tune wherein Miller played a six-string cheater banjo and
Hoard was milking some slinky slide. It didn’t sound like the middle dropped
out of the mix despite the lack of janging rhythm guitar. Kudos to Mazure’s bass
playing for taking up the slack.

Rumor has it that the “Bender” thing comes from the Parsons/White B-bender
that these guys like to desecrate their guitars with. This spring-loaded
mechanism will change the pitch of one of the strings by pulling down on the
guitar strap. It kind of emulates the way a pedal steel works. It’s a really neato
contraption and if you listen very closely, you can hear these subtle cool little
licks that are made possible through it’s use. Unfortunately, it’s really hard to
tell when the guy uses it. If it’s an important part of the show, they oughta
make it light up or have someone hold up a sign or make an announcement
so everyone could see how cool it is.

I must take a moment to send a shot out to Roger Hoard. The guy who molded
Brad Paisley’s chubby little eight-year-old fingers in the shape of Mel Bay’s easy
C chord still never fails to impress me. No clangers. No ugly tones. No playing
himself into a corner. Just perfect, professional, tasteful, sweet licks without a
bead of sweat. Dude, you’ve made it impossible for me to think I’m better than
you, and I think I’m better than everyone. You destroyed my life. Thanks loads.

Overall, the Fabulous Bender Boys were way too good for playing in such an
unenthusiastic setting. This band is world class in quality and repertoire and it
would be easy to see them rocking diverse mass audiences with their blend of
roots country and today’s ClearChannel™ Country Hits (barf!). These guys are
playing their asses off. That music isn’t easy, partner. They practice hard to get
it together such that you can’t slip a piece of paper between the chunks. Don’t
take it for granted what the Fabulous Bender Boys serve up. Live music is under
duress right now. I’d like to shove that Ipod up Steve Jobs’ crack. Go see a live
band and try to keep yourself from requesting Free Bird, okay?
–B. Melvin Mitchell, Farm Use Publications. farmuseonly@yahoo.com